Last Friday, I attended a Kesha. YES,A KESHA...
Now,for the uninitiated ones among us,a Kesha is an over-night church event that entails worship,praise and prayers.
I had been invited to the Kesha by some girl via inbox. And,after thinking hard about it,I honored her brave invite.
And so,I went. It was in a huge church along Ngong Road,whose name I wont mention.
I got there just a few minutes past 11pm. With two friends. And then texted my pal,told her, "Nimefika" and she came over to pick me up at the splendid church gate.
She walked us in. And,boy,oh,boy,THAT WAS Quite a church!
It was tastefully garlanded with state-of-the-art equipments,a stately podium,glimmering windows,a sound system that blared and blasted like a Brazil carnival,an imposing altar with a succulent green carpet and beautiful chairs arranged in the smartest rows ever.
There was a dizzying aroma in the air,the choir sang like Nightingales,belting out some of the most euphonious music ever sang.
The lights glimmered and shone with grandeur and the piano man,the drums man played those things like a deranged maniac in a mental asylum.
It was BOMBASTIC. It was Glorious. It was Disco-esque.
I sat at a corner. In the back. And sank into my seat.
Swiftly,I was served with a cute church brochure. And hugged by over 3 ushers...
I watched everything. And was awed. Totally awed.
It was now time for PRAISE . And God,that was something else.
I watched the young people dance and wiggle and boggle and gyrate like little imps!
And as we were dancing,a DJ walked in! The crowd went wild!
No pianos anymore. Or drums. Time for a DJ mix! JESUS!
Armed with the most lethal DJ artillery,the guy spinned the tracks like a zombie!
And the dancing got even crazier...and messier...
He played songs by Kris Eh Baba,Willy Paul,Juliani,Exodus,M.O.G,Kelele Takatifu,HopeKid...
And that was SUPPOSED to be PRAISE!
Dear Lord!
I sank in my little chair. Horrified.
He even utilized the "Ikibamba sana wapi Yesu Weuwee!" DJ drop. And the crowd would explode into deafening cheers.
And after the PRAISE segment,which lasted for over an hour,we were asked to sit. And,with sweat dripping from every single pore of our dreary bodies,we sat. Exhausted as grave-diggers.
Time for PRESENTATIONS.
And the Youth stepped forward. To "present". Or entertain Us. Or God. Or whatever.
Others sang. Most of them danced. But what shocked me most was a RAP BATTLE. Yes,a christian RAP BATTLE.
There were RAP groups who stepped forward and started free-styling and spitting rhymes. Competing with each other. Challenging each other. Intimidating each other. With RAP rhymes. Or whatever.
Right ON the church podium.
And the congregation cheered these teams on.
Time for the SERMON.
The "Man of God" had two silver blings,two ear-rings,burnt hair,a sharp suit and a cologne which wafted across the room.
He introduced himself as a Youth Pastor. And then preached. IN SHENG!
Uh-uh.
He read his verses from his SAMSUNG TABLET and translated them into SHENG.
Oh,OKAY.
The sermon lasted just about 28 minutes. And it was time to dance and "go crazy" again!
Waaaah!
The DJ came on and started his thing. The lights guy now started utilizing multi-coloured lights to liven up the mood. It was like a disco-hall.
Now purple,red,neon,green and blue lights were shimmering down to us. Flickering and blinking. From corner to corner.
For a moment,I thought I was in Tribeca.
Time for REFRESHMENTS NOW.
We were served with super-hot tea and muffins. And we were asked to use that time to socialize. And get to know each other.
But NO ONE SOCIALIZED. No one bothered knowing the other.
Everyone grabbed their tea and cakes,sank into their seat,whipped out their expensive phones and gadgets. And started "social-networking" like crazy.
Soft music played as the crowd was busy Facebooking,reading or replying comments,updating statuses,tweeting,re-tweeting. Or stuck in WhatsApp.
Everyone was buried in their phone. Smiling to themselves. Networking with virtual people. Or strangers.
OMG!
What happened to simply PRAISING God the traditional way? What happened to the House of God?
Have we turned the House of the Lord into a "Christian Disco"?!
Why are we doing the SAME things being done in clubs? Why are we dancing like them? Behaving like them??
Did we go there to seek His Face or seek Entertainment?!
And why are we so hooked to our phones? And gadgets?
Cant we just stop facebooking and tweeting and whatsapping and get to ACTUALLY meet NEW People?? REAL People?!?
For Once??!
God Bless our Generation.
We are caught up.
In a confusion.
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