By Tagawah
1. KNOW THAT THERE IS NO
ONE SIGN OR CLUSTER OF SIGNS
TO DETECT LIES
There are no clear signs a man is
telling lies (or even a woman). If it
were as cut and dry as
detecting signs then no law
enforcement group would ever be
deceived. What you first have to
do is clear your mind of all you
“think” you know about lie
detection. There are no signs, no
eyes darting to one side, no
scratching of nose that indicates
lies. You have to look at the bigger
picture. Are his tightly crossed
arms that way because he is
lying? Or is he cold? Does he
usually stand like that? Have you
seen him stand like that when
being shouted at by his mother?
You need to examine a whole
scenario and not just single actions
or words.
2. HE HIDES BEHIND COMMON
LIE DETECTION MYTHS
He also believes in lie detection
myths and will try to use them. He
may do things such as looking you
in the eyes, showing his palms,
not fidgeting or breaking his gaze.
If he does this the first time then
he has anticipated your question
(which should arouse your
suspicion). If he is doing it on
subsequent occasions after you
have asked more than once then it
is meaningless because he is
simply trying to make you believe
his first answer.
3. HE DIVERTS WITH AN
HONEST ANSWER
This trick is where a man tells you
an honest answer without
answering your own. “Have you
seen your secretary today?” and
he replies, “She didn’t come to
work today.” Supposing that she
didn’t then it is an honest answer,
but he never actually answered
your question. This is very
suspicious because if the facts
were on his side he would have
said, “No, she didn’t come to
work today” (see the subtle
difference?).
4. HE GETS ANGRY WHEN YOU
ASK
Do not forget that we’ve already
established there are no clear
signs a man is telling lies, and he
may get angry because he is tired
of being asked. But, some men
and women use getting angry as a
defense mechanism. Getting angry
at your question is a manipulative
way of getting you to shut up
about it, so treat it with suspicion.
5. HE SETS UP A POSITIVE
FRAMING IMAGE
A man is asked, “Did you cheat on
your wife?” and he replies, “I
have been happily married for 20
years and have two kids, I love my
family.” As you read above, this is
diverting by giving an honest
answer without actually
answering, but is also setting up a
positive frame. The same is true
when men say, “I am a devout
religious…” or “I have never even
thought about…” It is done to
make you think positive things
about the person. A reliance on
such clever verbal tricks by your
man should arouse your suspicion.
6. GETTING UPSET AND
DIVERTING
This may involve diverting and
positive framing too. You start a
line of questioning that makes him
uncomfortable, so he diverts and
gets upset with, “Don’t you think I
have been through enough?” or
“You are doing just what my ex
wife/girlfriend used to.” Getting
upset is a manipulative tool and
should arouse your suspicion as it
is among the signs someone is
lying.
7. ASK HIM OBTUSE QUESTIONS
He will probably have his story set
out very well, along with several
back up stories that he remembers
perfectly. So, ask him an obtuse
question. “Yeah, it was just me
and Bob in a bar.” So you say,
“Oh, what was he wearing?” or
“Oh, I saw him the other day, has
he shaved off that mustache?”
Obtuse questions will cause him to
think on his feet and he may show
discomfort, which should arouse
your suspicions. Don’t forget that
innocent people often say they
can’t remember, but too many
“Can’t remembers” are
suspicious.
8. THE KILLER “WHY”
When this works, it is very
gratifying for you. Let’s say you
suspect he was at a bar but he is
not going to admit it. Do not
interrogate him hard, or be
aggressive or push, and at some
point ask him something such as,
“Is there any reason why someone
may have seen you at the bar?” Do
not mention who by name or it
will make him discredit that
person. Questions such as this
make him assume you know
something. If he is guilt free then
an immediate “no” (or similar)
will follow. If there is a little guilt
then he will say something such as
“why,” at which point you should
be very suspicious (what’s he
hiding?).
9. THE FINAL QUESTION
After finishing your little
interrogation session you should
ask a final question, such as, “Is
there anything else I should
know?” or “Is there anything you
have left out?” Any discomfort at
this point should arouse your
suspicion. Do not forget that there
are no clear signs a man is telling
lies; all you have read here are
things that may arouse your
suspicion. Asking something such
as “Have you lied?” or “Are you
lying to me?” is not good enough
because it invites an immediate
and easy “no.”
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