To September Intake KU Self sponsored & JAB applicants;

It is hereby to inform you that shortlisting of qualified students who had applied for various courses is taking place this week,Disbursement of admission letters to various post office boxes that were provided in the application letter will take place as from next week hence forth,JAB students admission letters will also be disbursed at a later date as the Joints Admission Board is selecting the maximum number of candidates to join in.
Any person with admission inquiries can visit the main campus Admission block or contact the following telephone numbers
Tel: +254 20 8710901,
+254 20 8711622
...
Centre for Self Sponsored Programmes
P.O Box: 43844-00100
Nairobi
Tel: +254 20 8710901

URGENT SUBMISSION OF NHIF NUMBER/HEALTH INSURANCE DETAILS

KENYATTA UNIVERSITY 

OFFICE OF THE DEPUTY VICE CHANCELLOR (ACADEMIC)

INTERNAL MEMO

FROM: Deputy Vice Chancellor (Academic)            DATE: 30th July,2013

TO: All Students     OUR REF.: KU/RAC/GEN/VOL.I/45(196)

SUBJECT: URGENT SUBMISSION OF NHIF NUMBER/HEALTH INSURANCE DETAILS

This is to inform you that you are required to submit your NHIF account number or that of your parent/guardian to the office of the registrar (Academic) in Admissions Block Room 12 to facilitate updating individual NHIF numbers by September 2013 or January 2014 for May 2011 Group

You are further informed of the University medical procedures whereby for normal treatment sicknesses and emergency, students are treated at the University Health Unit. However, where situations arises requiring hospitalisation, the university facilitates hospitalization at Kiambu Level Five Hospital, Kenyatta National hospital (or at any hospital of the choice of students) and then parent or guardian are notified to arrange payment of incurring hospital bills.

For East African/International Students are expected to submit details of Health Insurance cover details.

Please note that you will not be registered in the next semester (September 2013 or January 2014) without submitting the required information.

Thank you,

PROF.JOHN OKUMU

DEPUTY VICE CHANCELLOR (ACADEMIC)

c.c Vice Chancellor

      All Deputy Vice Chancellors

      All Registrars

      All Deans of Schools

      Director , Student Affairs

      Director of Campuses

      All Head of Sections in Admissions

      Head,Health Unit

     Admin Tagawah

     All Notice Boards

KHAT AND ITS EFFECTS

 

Khat, or Miraa is the main cash crop for the Meru and Embu community in Kenya. After Netherland banned this stimulant, now the United Kingdom has followed suit classifying the herb as a Class C drug under the Misuse of Drugs act.

 Feeling sorry for the Meru community who would now be losing ksh 42 million per week. This I am sure would affect negatively the economy of the meru who I believe at the moment do not have an alternative source of revenue. As one of my Meru  friend usually say, “hiyo ndiyo fees yangu”. That the miraa business is paying the almost 0.5 million Kenya shillings school fees for parallel medical students.

Now as a medic, I must look at the effects of khat. It may be unsafe for use and can cause psychological dependence.

Khat can cause many side effects:-

·         Increased alertness, excessive talkativeness and mood changes.

·         Hyperactivity, excitement and aggressiveness

·         Anxiety, elevated blood pressure, faster breathing rate, temperature and sweating

·         Mouth ulcers, inflammation of the esophagus and stomach, gum disease jaw problems, oral and stomach cancer and even constipation.

·         Changes in sex drive, testicular degeneration and inability to get an erection leading to impotence.

·         Chewing of khat leaves has led to infections.

·         It is unsafe to use khat in pregnancy or breastfeeding, it lowers the birth weight and the chemicals can also pass into breast milk

·         It lowers appetite causing people to skip meals and eating becomes less routine.

The list might be longer, not forgetting dependency of the drug besides affecting the health of an individual it also leads to economic loses to the consumers.

 I have seen people neglecting their responsibilities and family just to satisfy this addiction. Especially on Friday and Saturdays termed as ‘saga day”, ( chewing day ). Groups and individuals go out to ‘maskani’ recreation or relaxation social places and stay out the whole night leaving their family and the wife unattended to. They are left to burn the night candle in loneliness, not getting their ‘rights’. This leads to breakage of many families which is the core pillar of our society.

What saddens me is the facts that many women are also into this addiction nowadays. For me seeing a woman, a mother chewing Miraa…….. not a good scene!!!

The side effects mentioned are enough to make an individual make the right decision of not using this toxic herb.

50 years of independence and we still have a cabinet secretary who is a class three drop out.

"ITS 50 YEARS OF INDEPENDENCE AND:
1. Kikuyus still rape animals. And ladies are too
much.
2. The KALENJIN still burns charcoal after moi
ruled for 24 years. They should divert to biogas,
biofuels and electricity.
3. The opposite of original is China. 50 years of
independence and govt still want to borrow money
from china.
4. Central are still struggling with jiggers after
... kenyatta and kibaki worked for 25 years.
5. KIKIYUS still lead in chokoraa population
despite they have kleptmaniax rulers.
5. 50 years of Independence and 90% of kale
  don'tknow where the capital city of kenya is.
6. 50 years of independence and we still have a
cabinet secretary who is a class three drop out.
i.e. Kazungu kambi."

HAGUE IS DIFFICULT TO EVADE.

HAGUE IS DIFFICULT TO EVADE.

Uhuru was busy bribing the witnesses little did he knew that the Google, yahoo, amazon and all networks in the world are under American surveillance program called"PRISM".
This project collects mass clandestine data around the globe for security purposes.
In this program telephone, fax, mobile and skype calls are traced and equalized and interlinks of the system o...f characters profiled.From there every program is classified.
This is how Osama bin Laden was traced.
Hehehe This is Joshua talking. Uhuru lawyer filed a case know as ''no case against Uhuru''.Having known all evidences were removed.
Bensounda produced 1200 yellow pages of evidences backed up by video, sounds and speech and bank accounts and mpesa of various Mungiki which were sent to go and murder and rape people in Naivasha and nakuru. Uhuru lawyer never objected that those videos were lies.
The game now is to compel safaricom and airtel to produced those video and messages of those clients. But how will it be possible since the biggest server is Google.
Infact Khan(uhuruto lawyer) has never won any case in Hague

WHY ARE WE PAYING FOR THE COSTS OF RUTO TRIP LETS GO VIRAL TO INFORM ALL KENYANS OF THIS TRAVESTY

-so Ruto is scheduled to travel to the Hague for his trial beginning early next month.his air ticket has already been secured at US $ 3,093.he will be travelling with an entourage consisting of his wife,at least one of his kids,security detail,legal team and a few hangers-on....we do not know how long he will be at the Hague.even he doesn't know.while there, they will need food, accommodation and other necessities.the government employees travelling with him will earn allowances and per diem during the trip.who is paying for all these costs?its YOU the Kenyan taxpayer.why are we being made to pay for a PERSONAL trip?especially involving a man suspected of having killed fellow Kenyans?

BUDGET YA MASAFARA.

TUNAOMBA SERIKALI.

1.Ipunguze ile shimo ya Doughnut ikue ndogo kiasi[hua ni ya nn haswa??]

2.Iambie madame waache kua Magoldigger sana at list wawe wana Gold Dig Alluminium ju atlist ni cheap kimfuko!

3.Itununulie tuVITZ ju hua hazihitaji kupelekwa Car wash,,SINK tu imetosha na mafuta hua inatumia ya SACHETS so tunaeza afford!!

... 4.ilete OKOA jahazi ya Mpesa Na Mshwari na iskue na masharti Miingi ka za jela,, yani iskue na 'Terms and Conditions apply' ju hua hatuzisomi!!

5.Kampuni za soda na pombe zkuwe znajaza chupa mpaka juu,,hio space hua wanabakisha ya nini??

6.ipunguze size ya Filter za Fegi ndo Fegi zkue mrefu kiasi,,si mlipandisha bei btw??

7.Ipeleke hii njeve ya Nairobi Mombasa alafu ituletee hio Joto atlist hata sisi tujiskie kiasi hatuko Kenya 'Nairobi Si kenya'!!

WHY I STOPPED WATCHING SOAP OPERA.

1.Lazima kuna mtoto amepotea anatafuta mama yake ama vice versa-kwani hao watu wa Mexico hawanaga kitu ingne ya kufanya ispokua Kupotezana na kutaftana daily??aii mboss we.

2.Kuna kidame na kiboy hua znapendana hadi znaeza nyambiana kwa mdomo ju ya mapenzi-how kam hapa Kenya hua hakuna watu wanapendana hivi.kwani roho zao znakuanga na kimapenzi kya aina gani ...hikyo??Ningeskia raha sana ju hatungewai skia ati Nyoka kuku punda Simba na Fisi zmerapiwa!!

3.Kunakuanga na Pastor hafanyagi makosa hata!very Perfect and Holy-wooi Ngai Papa!!sa ni Kenya??akina Pastor Njoro wa kashot kamoja??ni shot ataenda ama ni mimi ataombea sasa??ai

4.Ati Jamaa anakuja usiku kwa dirisha ya Dame kumuimbia Na Guitar na choir??-Gai,,zile mitaa tunaishi uamshe watu na Maguitar usiku??kwanza utakua umepitia wapi ndio msikue hamjapatana na Karao??na rem chances za Kupigwa Ngeta mrudi nyumbani bla viatu na mkiwa uchi are very High,,plus,,ni Guitar ntanunua ya kuimbiana usiku ama ni Rent ntalipa??ai

5.Madame wanaishingi a fairy tale life,,kupewa tumaua na tuhug 24 saba-sa seriously,,nitoke job nmechoka ka punda ya Baragoi alafu nkuje nianze kukumassage??nani anafaa kumassage na kupea mwingine tuhug??alafu,,hizo hug ntakupea ukiwa wapi na sa hio umefungiwa na wazazi ka mtu ako jela??maua nazo,,ni Budget ya Fare na food ya hao yangu ntafanya ama ni ya Maua??asiii

hahaha!Amateur Prostitute Conned of Her Services

A nondescript prostitute in Nairobi was subjected to baptism by fire during her maiden week at ‘work’ when three young men, ‘tuned’ her and bargained for a ‘gang bang’ only to flee without paying her after quenching thirst.
It all began a few minutes to midnight when three young men — perhaps high on testosterone — introduced themselves to her as university students. The three proceeded to wax lyrical — of how they had been charmed by her ‘yellow-yellow’ complexion and unrivalled beauty — and bargained to be served at ago for they were in a hurry.
In a bid to be efficient by killing three birds with one stone, the poor bimbo gave in, oblivious of the impending ‘shop lifting’ and ‘loss’ awaiting her. “The deal was too good to resist, Sh3,000 at ago,” said the victim.
Quick
 The scene was at the famous Koinange Street. The hooker had allegedly been introduced to the (oldest) profession, a week ago by a colleague from Githurai, where she resides. Her colleagues said they saw her talking to the three men and, in fact, envied her for being on high demand. Before they knew it, the four strolled into a building opposite the toilets where the night security guards have an arrangement with the hookers to use the stairs for quick service.
When they got to the venue, they expressed fear of her taking off once she served the first client and thus an agreement had to be struck; the bill would be settled by the last man to be served!
Wail
 Eager and curious to have her maiden ménage à trois— rumoured to be an explosively ecstatic experience, she gave the first two clients a shy smile, perhaps to indicate she was ready. After the two were done, they left their friend to have his time. After he had had enough, he pretended to be looking for money in his pocket as he approached the door and took off. At the entrance, he overpowered the watchman as he attempted to wrestle him. The poor woman was left high and dry as her attempts to wail — Ngai fafa, to get his rogue clients arrested fell on deaf ears.
Two policemen on patrol found her crying claiming she had been conned. Interestingly, when asked what had happened, she was unable to explain in details considering she had been involved in an illegal enterprise, in the first place.
When cajoled further, she confessed that she is a prostitute and had willingly participated in a ‘gang bang’ that went awry. The officers told her that no action could be taken against the three men as there was no receipt to prove she, indeed, offered them the service. The policemen, further, wondered how crime has evolved to the extent of prostitutes being victims of ‘shoplifting’.
 In the past, the script was different — women of the night used to hide beneath the bed and creep into the pockets of their colleagues’ clients. Today, tables have turned. However, her colleagues vowed to teach such crooks a lesson for coming to them expecting to be ‘served honey’ free of charge.

When The Village Shared One Wheelbarrow

In this current ‘me world’, it might shock the youth that there was a time, not too long ago, when the entire village was such a close-knit community that everything was shared.
When I was growing up, there were only two wheelbarrows in my village. What would happen is that anyone constructing a pit latrine would borrow it.
Often, it wasn’t just the wheelbarrow that was borrowed. Spades were borrowed. Drums for storing water were constructed, ditto tape measures, ropes and so forth. You even borrowed labour to fetch water for the construction! Thus, all the permanent buildings in my village, at least the early ones, were all constructed using borrowed equipment.
It is not like the donors were altogether happy about their wheelbarrows and spades moving from one home to the other to the extent that they never really owned them. But to deny a kinsman or a neighbour something you were not using was extremely crass. It would put you in bad books, which wasn’t a very nice thing when everyone needed a large crowd of wailers at their funeral.
The beauty about this is that it allowed folk to focus their meager resources on the project, and not waste money on little things that could be borrowed. Of course, it helped that wheelbarrows of that era were designed to build a whole village, unlike the plastic things manufactured these days, which give up the ghost even before the initial project is half way.
Bullocks
This borrowing thing went beyond wheelbarrows. For as long as I can remember, the village only had two or so bicycles and an equal number of transistor radios and record players. So when you had a distant funeral to attend or pesky in-laws to appease, you borrowed a bike. When you held a dance, you borrowed the record player. And when you learnt that a distant relative had passed on, you gathered at the only home with a radio to hopefully get to hear your name broadcast live on radio as one of the departed man’s cousins.
We borrowed combs, mirrors, iron boxes and even razor blades, when baby came ‘suddenly’ and the umbilical cord needed cutting. We borrowed bullocks and ox-drawn plows, jembe and, axes. Man, we even borrowed clothing when a serious journey arose, but alas, our own threadbare shirts and dresses were not considered up to the task.
When our wives couldn’t get children, our relatives lent us some. When we couldn’t sire children, we borrowed a relative’s seed. I mean you could make ugali and dash to the neighbour’s house and borrow cooked vegetables, or a dollop of cooking fat.
Well, these days, that rubbish is history. In the village, there are certain homes that ‘you don’t just enter’ ovyo ovyo.
And if you dare walk in through the gate, the woman of the house looks at you with the cold eyes of a dead  fish, such that by time you say, “Please helep (help)  me with your wolparry (wheelbarrow),”  you  can see her squirming husband lying, “it’s not there” even before he opens his mouth.
Result? Everyone owns an idle wheelbarrow.

My 1st letter to mama Natasha!hehehe!Hilarious!

LISTEN AND DOWNLOAD FREE MIXTAPES~Dj Tagawah

http://www.mixcrate.com/tagawah/

Women Could Have A "Menstruation Leave " if Bill is Passed!

Apart from the customary mandated paid sick and vacation leaves, a Russian lawmaker has asked parliament to give women two days paid leave a month when they menstruate, a move that has irked rights activists worried over creeping conservatism since Vladimir Putin resumed the presidency.
Mikhail Degtyaryov, a member of the nationalist LDPR party led by the outspoken Vladimir Zhirinovsky, wrote on his website “During that period (of menstruation), most women experience psychological and physiological discomfort. The pain for the fair sex is often so intense that it is necessary to call an ambulance,” said Degtyaryov, 32, who is married with two sons.
Pain
Degtyaryov, a candidate in a Moscow mayoral election on September 8, who is polling at less than one percent support, said pain during menstruation heightened fatigue, reduced memory and efficiency at work, and provoked distinct emotional discomfort.
“Strong pain induces heightened fatigue, reduces memory and work-competence and leads to colourful expressions of emotional discomfort,” a portion of Degtyaryov‘s proposed bill published on his personal Web site said.
“Therefore, scientists and gynaecologists look on difficult menstruation not only as a medical, but also a social problem.”
The State Duma lower house of parliament does not meet again until September but human rights campaigners have already dismissed the proposal as sexist.
“This argument is obviously improper, unreasonable and nothing close to being serious,” said Anna Sobko, a lawyer at Memorial, Russia‘s oldest human rights group.
However, Andrei Isaev, a member of the incumbent United Russia party and the head of the Duma‘s Labour, Social Politics and Veteran Affairs Committee, said the legislation was absurd.
Marina Pisklakova-Parker, head of women‘s group Anna Center, said the proposal was absurd.
“If we are seriously debating women‘s efficiency at work during menstruation, we should also consider how fit for work men are after a drinking bout,” she said.
Rights activists said they did not see the Kremlin‘s hand behind the proposal. But the opposition says there has been a drift towards more conservatism attitudes in Russian politics since Putin returned to the presidency in May last year and started courting the resurgent Russian Orthodox Church.
Parliament has since then enacted what critics see as a series of repressive laws, including one banning “homosexual propaganda” which has been widely condemned in the West.

Male Gold-Diggers On The Rise in Kenya

Since time in memorial women have always been programmed to pick a mate with wealth, and a high social standing.
In the cave man days, men with might represented success and so they were in high demand, but today it is all about how much a man is worth financially. And I ask why not? Men cannot give birth or look after the home, so they might as well be good for something and provide abundantly!
Over the years, men who can afford to lavish their women with a plash and glamorous life have been called everything from sugar daddy, to meal ticket, to walking, breathing ATM.
Enthusiastic
And despite the feminist revolution and career opportunities being made available for women, they still dream of marrying a rich and successful man. And anyone who tells you different is naïve or a liar. Come on, we are the so-called “weaker” sex, it is expected!
So when a woman is spotted roving the dating scene aggressively and purposefully hunting for a rich and successful fellow, it is seen as something almost normal. But lately, it seems the tables have turned, as a new trend seems to be rearing its ugly head. Men have chanukad!
Recently, I was asked on a date by a certain very enthusiastic younger man, and seeing as this ‘dating a younger man’ trend seems to have caught on, I decided to switch off my brain for a little while and try it. And shock on me when my younger man seemed to think I had a bank that gave out free loans, or that maybe I owned magic trees in my backyard that grew money I was willing to give to any man who proclaimed to love me.
Stories abound of women who have bought businesses, cars and even apartments for men, all in the name of love only to be ditched by the way side as soon as they got all that they wanted. Or found another unsuspecting woman to use as a financial upgrade. And it is not only the younger men who are not financially stable who are jumping on this ‘get a female meal ticket bandwagon’, educated and professional men have started to seek out women who can provide them with a more comfortable lifestyle, free loans and if possible, an early retirement plan.
These crop of men are intent on securing a cushy lifestyle, but they are not willing to work for it. They instead prefer to enjoy a woman’s money.
Sniff
They are very charming and suave, and are constantly prowling the dating scene looking for unsuspecting women who they think will give them the lifestyle they desire. And make no mistake about it, they are very dedicated and do their groundwork and know how to reel in a woman to upgrade their lifestyles.
They go hunting on social media (where people often give more information about themselves than they should), gyms, offices, bars in the suburbs, and hoity toity hot spots of Nairobi. They know exactly where to find their targets and can sniff loneliness and money a mile away, and know just how to package themselves to get what they want. So ladies be warned, and if your mama never taught you; never ever give a man money, borrow a loan for a man, or pay a man’s bills, it never works!

Angry Man Pees in a Rongai Shop To Get His Money Back

Residents of Kisumu Ndogo area in Ongata Rongai, Kajiado County, were treated to free drama, albeit shameful, when a man — angry at his friend who had refused to pay his debt — got drunk and deliberately urinated on goods in his shop to express his anger.
The young man, perhaps broke and desperate, decided to act shamelessly hoping to secure his money from his debtor who kept telling him hakuna pesa (there is no money!) whenever he came to demand it.
Bemused
Rumour has it that the shop owner and the young man were close business friends. On the day of the incident, the young man who claimed the shop owner had refused to pay his debt, decided to teach him a lesson by urinating at the door step of his shop and on goods on the shelve, scaring away bemused customers.
After pursuing the shopkeeper — by making countless phone calls that went unanswered — all day long, the young man resorted to unorthodox strategy to get back his money. To gather enough courage, he went and got drunk before embarking on his well planned mission. The furious man showed up at his friend’s shop and surprised passers-by and buyers when he pulled down his trousers, whipped out his weapon of mass procreation and proceeded to pee. He alternately directed the trajectory of his urine to different shelves in the shop.
An attempt by the shop owner to keep him away bore no fruits. When the shopkeeper approached him in to restrain him, he pointed the trajectory at him. When he ran out of urine, he went and ‘toped up’ by drinking himself silly and once his bladder was full, he staggered back and did it again and again.
Shameful
Shockingly, the drunk never felt embarrassed exposing his ‘thing’ to the thoroughly entertained crowd that laughed their heads off at the shameful act. Realising the man was not ready to stop, the crowd appealed to the shopkeeper to give the drunk what belonged to him.
The  shopkeeper, who remained adamant and kept bellowing hakuna pesa, closed his shop without attending to the confused customers and left the drunk sleeping on the verandah.

Shocking Details of Abortion Prevalence in Kenyan Universities

A month after a reckless night of fun, her periods go missing and the young man responsible gets a chilling ‘baby, we need to talk’ text message.
This is when reality and deep regret check in. That is the time the two lovebirds realise they are barely 20 years old, unemployed and with a baby on the way. What will they tell their parents? Never mind that college students treat pregnancy tests like STDs, such that when the result is positive, then it is a negative — bad. With all this factors at play, only one solution remains — abortion.
So far, one rural university has the dubious honor of being the national leader in rampant cases of abortion. Instances of multiple abortions by the same students are no longer worthy of the spotlight.
Winnie, a student in the said institution, procured her first abortion in her first year of studies. She was fearful of her father who is an ex-military tough. Her boyfriend jilted her, and she was left with no choice. Earlier this year, she found out that she was heavy with a child, and ‘flushed’ it, again.
Pills
“If you are a girl in this university and you haven’t procured an abortion, then you deserve a pat on the back,” says Patience, a student of Law. More frightening, Patience says Medicine students help their desperate friends who get unwanted pregnancies to get rid of the baggage.
“These students hook you up with a nurse who then takes you to see a certain doctor who sorts you out,” she says, adding that in some cases, the students are known to pinch abortion pills from the hospital and sell them for Sh2,000, which is pocket-friendly compared to the doctor who asks for Sh5,000. The price, she says, is not standard, though. It depends on the pills and the age of the foetus.
These (cheap) services come as a relief to the many students in the university. All you need to do is know someone in the faculty of Medicine and your troubles are sorted. Furthermore, when dealing with a student, one can be availed with flexible modes of payments, such as cash or installments that are paid periodically over time.
The situation becomes more chilling given whispers that chamas are founded specifically for abortion emergencies. These chamas provide a financial cushion to their members. They loan out money to those who get pregnant, who then pay back with little interest.
Private universities are renowned for their piety and disciplined students; but when it comes to cases of unwanted pregnancies, they aren’t left behind. Kemunto, a fresh graduate from a prestigious university in Nairobi, explains how a few mistakes ago, after realising that her runaway boyfriend had gotten her pregnant during her second year, she immediately made up her mind to terminate the pregnancy. A friend introduced her to a woman at a respected medical facility, who in turn, forwarded her to a doctor who operates a ramshackle health centre in the heart of Kiambu. She parted with a whooping Sh8,000, but the trauma haunts her to date.
At another top university in Nairobi, students reported after a brief break early this year to find a foetus decomposing in one of the female loos. The gore, but sad, image of a baby whose life had been cut short by its mother, suddenly found its way into the social media tabloids and as expected, caused angry ripples throughout the campus.  Most of the people who were pissed off by the image being circulated online were the women, and after three days or so, the individual who posted it online was finally cajoled to pull it down.
Joy, a Third Year student at the institution says there is a dealer who owns a chemist in town who has mastered the art of abortion. Just like the rural varsity doctor, he summons girls who are tired and heavy laden, and relieves them using the abortion pill, Misoprostol.
Misoprostol has become a darling for girls at the university. When consulted, Dr Kizito Lubano, an obstetrician gynaecologist said Misoprostol (otherwise known as Cytotec, Arthrotec or Oxaprost) was originally meant for curing, among others, peptic ulcers. And when taken in high doses, it induces labour by contracting the uterus and thus, listed as one of its side effect to expectant women, who are warned not to use it. However, he says university students now take advantage of its side effect and use its overdose to abort. This is the same pill used in the rural university mentioned earlier.

Discontinuation of the Students’ Shuttle Service

The Students’ Shuttle Service was initiated in January 2011 after consultations between the University Management and KUSA leadership.  It was began on the understanding that students would subscribe in large numbers to enable the service to sustain itself without any subsidy from the University.  It was essentially to run on the principle of economics of scale.  Since then, however, the numbers of subscribing students has continued to decline, making the service untenable.

This is, therefore, to inform all students that the Shuttle Services provided by Holiday Cars and Tours from the Main Campus, to parklands, Ruiru and City Campuses will no longer be available because of the above reasons.  This is effective September 2013.

Students are hereby informed in advance to make their parents and guardians aware of this development, and to make personal arrangements for transport during the semester.

Steps to view Fee Statement

1.   Log in to the portal
2. If you encounter an error, ignore the error
3. Click Campus Contacts
   There will be a menu on the left hand side of the page.
4. Select and click fees statement
   Select the fee statement option (blue in color)
   A pop-up may appear, allow pop-ups from browsers
5. Click on the fee statement and view your fee balance.
   

Kenyatta University student taught a LESSON….PEEPING at BATHING girls

Saturday, August 03, 2013 – A third
year, Kenyatta University student,
... over the week received a thorough
beating from students staying at a
hostel at KM area. Apparently the
student had made it a habit to peep
at the girls while they were
showering.
His proverbial 40th day reached and
the girls caught him red handed in
the act and splashed him with dirty
water and even raw sewage as they
abused him for his acts.
He begged for mercy from the girls
but they could hear none of it.

CRAZY!!!!

From Kenya with love...
A wife went on holiday leaving the husband behind.

The husband got so horny one day that he decided

to try the maid who had just come from Nsukka

village and who seemed clever.

...

He called the maid to his bedroom where he had

taken off his pants, he pointed to his manhood

when the maid arrived.


Husband: Do you know what this is?

Maid: (Shyly) Yes...

Husband: Do you know what it s for?

Maid: Yes

Husband: show me.

The maid immediately dropped to her knees held
the item with both hands drew closer and opened
her mouth.

The husband was shivering with anticipation

The maid then began,
"My name is Amaka Nweke, I'm 24 years old and I'm
from Nsukka, Enugu State.
I would like to make a shout-out to my parents, my
uncle Emeka Ossai in Ontisha aka'Eribe
agwuagwu'and aunt Nneka aka'ochalugo nwanyi'.
I would also like to tell my boyfriend Emeka that I
miss him.
Can u play me Ashawo by Flavour Nabania?"

Then finally says to the man,
"Oga, take your microphone I'm through

Visit the blog +254 Mtaani Dot. Com for more!

HILARIOUS!! A LUO man answering a CALL

 

Patrick girlfriend’s phone rings.

Patrick: Mary, your cellular gadget has intercepted some electromagnetic waves and is currently summoning your attention

Mary: What?

Patrick: your phone is ringing

Mary: iam in the shower sweety, please answer it for me

Patrick: hello….

CALLER: Ndandeko na Mary (NYANJA).

Patrick: your lingual is foreign to my cochlea. Please utter alphabets in a universal manner so that I can derive sense from this dialogue

CALLER: where is Mary?

Patrick: Mary is currently interacting with a hot shower in my master bedroom that is located at the attic section of my bungalow. She cannot commence dialogue with u as her phone is not water proof like the one I own which can receive calls even while i'm submerged in my marbled Jacuzzi.

CALLER: who is this?

Patrick: do you have air-time of K100 , 000 and above? Any airtime
below that amount is not enough to permit me to finish explaining to u who I am via the phone as my accolades are too numerous. But to comprehend me better, visit any bookshop near u and purchase a book titled “knowing professor, the individual with English PHD’s whose number exceeds the mythical lives of a cat”..I authored it when I was minister in the previous regime

CALLER: who are you to Mary?

Patrick: I am the individual whom Mary surrenders to her fauna in absentia of clothing…..

CALLER: come again?

Patrick: Yes I am the individual who relays copulative sensations to Mary's pelvic areas

CALLER: say that again I don't understand?

Patrick : I am the individual who exposes Mary's lower limbs to mirror an obtuse angle. I’m Mary's boyfriend, And who are u?


CALLER: its Mary's mother.

How Jubilee leaders are playing into Raila’s hands

All isn’t well in the house that the son of Jomo built. The Jubilee regime – now in its fourth month – is in full panic. The “digital” regime is turning out to be truly “analogue”. Gone is the euphoria of the early days. No more jacket-less and rolled-up sleeves at State House conferences. The “new-look” Cabinet of “technocrats” is invisible.

The regime has lunged from crisis to crisis. This seems to be our “winter of discontent”. Which begs the question – why hasn’t Jubilee hit the ground running? Methinks I know why. Jubilee has too many “bogeymen” and “soft underbellies”. There’s a crisis of confidence within the inner sanctum. It won’t get any easier with The Hague trials looming.

Let me tell you why Jubilee is choking. First, you can’t effectively govern if you see “dire threats” and bogeymen everywhere. Most of these threats are either imagined, or “unforced errors”. Let’s focus on Jubilee’s most important bogeyman – former PM Raila Odinga.

Mr Odinga has become a nightmare for Jubilee. But – and you can take this to the bank – this is none of Mr Odinga’s doing. It’s Jubilee that’s turned Mr Odinga into a “bugaboo”.

Rather than focus on its programmes, Jubilee has chosen to lavish Mr Odinga with unwanted attention. Instead of burying Mr Odinga – after “beating” him in the March 4 elections – Jubilee has inexplicably decided to resuscitate him. It’s the most bone-headed thing I’ve ever seen.

Mr Odinga was either going to retire, or focus on re-building Cord in readiness for 2017. He appears to have chosen the latter. It would have been in Jubilee’s self-interest to let Mr Odinga expend his legendary energies on Cord.

But no – Mr Kenyatta’s party has chosen to detract Mr Odinga from Cord. It’s done so very crudely – by poking Mr Odinga in the eye every chance it gets. You can’t humiliate a lion of Mr Odinga’s international stature and get away with it.

Who can forget the mean-spirited slights – denying Mr Odinga access to VIP lounges, demanding that he “retires” from politics to enjoy benefits of a former PM, withdrawing bodyguards and ordering that he returns “official” vehicles?

I wonder who is advising Mr Kenyatta. A new government has no time to waste chasing after its “vanquished” opponents. But the government has spent the last two weeks imagining that Mr Odinga’s former campaign manager, Mr Eliud Owalo, is planning a Kenyan “Arab Spring”.

I laughed so hard I almost cracked a rib. Why make such wild and baseless claims? It’s what we call the theatre of the absurd.

It was a flashback to Kanu regimes of yore – like former AG Charles Njonjo warning that it was “treason” to “imagine” the death of the President. Or the Moi regime accusing me and fellow University of Nairobi leaders of being paid by the Soviets in 1981 to overthrow the government.

The Kenyatta regime keeps on making the same mistake time and again. At the Kisii funeral of school children who perished in a tragic accident, Jubilee leaders were shouted down and forced to abandon their speeches. The surging crowd demanded that Mr Odinga addresses them.

The former PM didn’t disappoint – he delivered a stinging critique of Mr Kenyatta’s fledgling government. The crowd ate up every word. It was a good thing Mr Kenyatta skipped the event. That’s the role of the opposition in a democracy.

But that’s not the way Jubilee mandarins saw it. They accused Mr Odinga of orchestrating their humiliation. Once again, they played into Mr Odinga’s hands. They are fuelling him free of charge.

Jubilee has made other tragic blunders. Take the debacle over the Makueni Senate seat left vacant by Senator Mutula Kilonzo’s death. Jubilee spent inordinate energy to block lawyer Kethi Kilonzo from succeeding her dad. This was unseemly, petty, and heartless. As if that wasn’t enough, Jubilee sought to block Ms Kilonzo’s brother – lawyer Mutula Kilonzo Jr – from running. How these mean-spirited tactics endear Jubilee to the people of Makueni beats me.

But Jubilee was bent on alienating Makueni voters with self-inflicted wounds. This isn’t how you win friends and influence enemies.

This is no way for Jubilee to expand from its traditional strongholds among the Kikuyu and Kalenjin. Has Jubilee ever heard of soft power?

No single Jubilee programme has gotten off the ground. Its most touted programme – the primary school laptops – is teetering on the brink of collapse. It’s ill-thought, and seems to be a boondoggle for vulture capitalists. Why would kids be given laptops when they have no desks, or computer-literate teachers? This is a populist project that can only end in tears.

KIPSIGIS ELDERS defend RUTTO and say they will support the RAILA ODINGA/ WILLIAM RUTO merger

# the writings are in the wall.jubillee collapsing.and the water is now following towards the lake

Friday August 2, 2013 - A section of  Kipsigis Myoot Council of Elders have said embattled Bomet Governor, Isaac Rutto, is free to work with anybody he wants as long as he is fighting for the interests of Kenyans.

In a meeting held at Afri Tech Teachers College in Chepalungu on Thursday, the elders led by the Council’s Bomet County chapter chairman, Richard Tonui, asked MPs to stop the public spat against Rutto.

The elders also unanimously agreed to support the mooted coalition between Orange Democratic Movement (ODM) and United Republic Party (URP) saying Luo and Kalenjin communities have been working together since the day of their forefathers.

The elders also condemned the recent attack on Governor Rutto, saying Rutto was expressing his democratic right which is enshrined in the constitution.

The leaders also said they will meet all MPs from the Kipsigis community who have attacked Rutto, saying it is against the customs of the Kipsigis community.

I think my husband is cheating on me...

Grace : I think my husband is cheating on me...
Jane: How do you conclude that?
Grace: Last night, he said he was at a party with
his friend John but John was with me the whole
night!!
•Who is the real cheat?•

A. Wife(Grace)
B. Husband

SAY NO TO TRIBALISM!

Raila was the PM for 5 years and up to
now luos occupy the largest portion of
slums in all towns and ther's no
development in nyanza § extremely
poor pple and all the time resulting to
acts of holiganisms.
Kibaki was the president for 10yrs and
still 99% of beggers, prostitutes §
criminals of all urbans slums are
kikuyus.
Kalonzo Vp and kambas die of hunger
and they're extremely poor.
Fellow kenyans lets accept the fact that
your hard work will lift u from poverty.
Not uhuru, raila, kalonzo, ruto etc.
Work hard and accept one another as
brothers and sisters.
So painfull to see a divided nation.
Say no to tribal

10 HEALTH BENEFITS OF DRINKING BEER

Baby born with prayer rosary round her neck in Niger

There was anxiety, on Sunday, following the delivery of a baby girl with prayer rosary wrapped around her neck during delivery in Bida, Bida Local Government Area of Niger State.

The incident, which occurred around 2.00 p.m at Kotuworo area of the town, close to the home of Alhaji Bello Mansaba, the man with 86 wives, was said to have caused uproar, with people thronging the town to have a look at the baby born to Mrs Adijat and Mallam Issa, both of whom hail from Lama, Kwara State.

Nigerian Tribune further gathered that Adijat rushed to the home of a midwife, Abubakar Baiwa Shasha, where she was delivered of her baby girl.

Further checks, however, revealed that when the baby was about to be delivered, the nurse, it was gathered, saw to her surprise a black rosary round the neck of the child, which immediately turned white as soon as she was delivered.

It was further learnt that the midwife raised the alarm that attracted the attention of people in the neighbourhood

Speaking with newsmen, the nurse said when the baby was about to be delivered, she was surprised to see the rosary around her neck, adding that another surprise was that the rosary turned white upon delivery.

“I was really shocked when I saw the rosary,” she said.

When contacted, Mansaba, an Islamic scholar, told newsmen that the delivery of the child showed the greatness of God.

Also, Alhaji Mutairi Salau, who claimed the mother of the baby, Kadijat, is a friend to his wife, described the birth as miraculous, saying “it is only God that can exhibit such power as to cause a woman to deliver a child with a praying rosary.”

The baby was later taken to the palace of Etsu Nupe, where they were received and blessed by the traditional ruler,  Alhaji Yahaya Abubukar.

Confirming the incident, the Emirate secretary, Alhaji Abdulmalik, when contacted, said the child was brought to the palace by the parents and she was prayed for by the royal father.

Adapted from Internet Sources

Funny...

just as his wife is finishing up her
shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in
a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there
stands Bob, the next-door
neighbour. Before she says a
word, Bob says, “I’ll give you
$800 to drop that towel.”
After thinking for a moment, the
woman drops her towel and
stands naked in front of Bob.
A...fter a few seconds, Bob
hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the
towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom,
her husband asks, “Who was
that?”
“It was Bob the next door
neighbour,” she replies.
“Great!” the husband says,
“did he say anything about the
$800 he owes me?” ... :

7 Habits That Reduce The Value of The Nairobi Woman

For the past few months, I have come to notice something weird about women, especially when they are in the clubs.
Fine. We can justify it by claiming it’s the alcohol, but really? I bet it’s about time I break the rules and say it in ‘red and pink’.  I have coined a name for this weird behaviour: ‘Bottom bitch behaviour’.
These ladies, who have bottom bitch behaviour, are always complaining they do not have a man or the man they have does not treat them right.
So how do you know you fall in this category?
You never miss any social event
Thanks to social media, a lot of people post on Facebook or Twitter where they are every weekend. Who they are hanging out with, what they are wearing, the drinks…blah… blah… blah…If you are such a victim then you fall in the “bottom bitch behaviour” category.
Ladies, mystery is sexy. Stay home from time to time. Enjoy the company of your friends and converse. In a man’s eyes you lose value if you are out every weekend!
You like flocking where men have several bottles on the table
Nothing is as unattractive as a chick who goes out but can’t even afford one drink.
It says a lot about a lady who is always at a table full of men guzzling down drinks and even grabbing the bottles to pour liquor down their friend’s throat.  Stop this behaviour, it is not cute!
Taking off your heels in the club
Ladies, invest in heels that are comfortable. Walking barefoot in the club is not a cute look. It simply makes you look tacky.
Tagging your pack of girlfriends to a date

Campus Girls Forced Into 'Threesome' Sunday Parties

The Nairobian has established that unsuspecting city campus girls are targeted for recruitment into threesome affairs.
The highly closed circle of recruiters is said to invite young campus women to parties in private residences, usually on Sundays.
After a few drinks, the gatherings slowly evolve to reveal the true intention: Orgies where the women are pressured to have sex with guests, most of them complete strangers.
“Some girls, shocked by the turn of events escape from the venue. But many more fall into the trap, especially because they are drunk,” a source told Campus Vibe.
A DJ and his girlfriend, who is a university student, are said to be the main recruiters.
They have been slowly expanding their network to lure more girls in what some have now branded ‘Threesome Sunday’.

“Men like us because at three months pregnancy we produce the heat that turns them on.” she says.Demand For Pregnant Prostitutes on The Rise in Nairobi

Demand For Pregnant Prostitutes on The Rise in Nairobi

 

Pregnancy is a delicate time for a woman to take it easy and prepare for the arrival of the bundle of joy. But a puzzling trend in some of Nairobi’s entertainment venues, popular for sins of the flesh, has left experts scratching their heads. Demand for pregnant prostitutes seems to be on the rise as some fetishistic men offer to pay a premium to get such women.
In the past, when a prostitute got pregnant there would be no business for several months until they delivered. But today some women in their sixth or seventh month of pregnancy are minting more money than they were making before they got pregnant.
Last week, The Nairobian moles set out to unravel the mystery behind the pregnant prostitutes fetish. We started at Accra Road, popping into several bars, casually chatting with barmaids, before we were directed to try our luck at Cross Lane, the road that links Accra and Racecourse Roads.
Nancy, a pregnant prostitute, opens up and reveals that she charges three times what others ask for, indicating a boom in the niche market.
“Men like us because at three months pregnancy we produce the heat that turns them on. I can do this until 8 months. At 32, this is my fourth baby and I still plan to continue,” she says.
She explains that her life as a call girl started in Hurlingham but after her third pregnancy she was relegated to the ‘River Road’ area because competition was tight upmarket.
The woman then takes our team to a bar in the nearby Mwimbi Road to show us other pregnant prostitutes, who are apparently a big hit among men.
When we offer to buy alcohol, she politely declines and instead opts for a soft drink: “I am pregnant, I can’t take alcohol, the drink will harm my baby.”
There are more of her kind at a nearby joint on Duruma Road. A green open door leads to a steep staircase. The place is poorly lit and by eight in the night, there are a few patrons. Girls are everywhere.
“Yes, men seem to love the pregnant ones. Today there are three of them. If you want one you better start now because by 10 they will all have been taken,” a waiter says in response to our enquiries.
Jane, one of the said women, is deliberately dressed to expose her pregnancy.
“I am on my sixth month. I get a bit tired nowadays so I only to sleep with return customers because I know they will be gentle and we can agree on a comfortable position. Otherwise, it is risky to go with strangers,” says the 24-year-old mother of one.
She reveals she usually has three or four clients a night, and some even pay her up to Sh000 per session.

NAGET BARUA! KUTOKA MSUPA WA NGUYAz!

NAGET BARUA! KUTOKA MSUPA WA NGUYAz!

ebu ione!
Hallo my lover.since that day we
lefted each other
at the maize shamba of your family, I
am missing u
very much in the night I cannot sleep
even small.am also work very much in
school to go to univarsity like u so
... that you are not defeet me alot in
clever.please never leaf me deer
because if you left me I can drink
medicene an
die or enter a river.
when you come bring me a baika and
pafume
so I know you love me or I know u
are playing for
me.let me not write many because
words are grass but let me tell
you many boys are wanting me but
am not like them I want you alone.
goodbye my lover
from your wife mutheu elisabeth.

Utajuaje dame ni mkale in town?

Utajuaje dame ni mkale in town?
1).Most wanapenda kuvaa miniskirt
au trouser pencil mpaka inachora
kila kitu ata na ikus kujichora nayo
2).Most wanapenda kuvaanga
rubber shoes ya black au red.
3).Wanaongea kwa sauti yao yote
wanapoongea kwa simu
4).Wanakaa warembo kwa umbali
lakini ukiwakaribia wabeat xana
... walai
5).Most ni weusi tititi,tochi
inaitajika kumulikwa (but wangu ako Jonjo...Mweupe)

crazy world!

1.You buy your girlfriend a
cellphone & another man buys her
airtime. Its called division of labor.

2.You buy your girlfriend
underwear & another man
removes it. Its
called separation of power.

3.You pay school fees for your
... girlfriend & another man pays
rent. Its called Combined business.

4.She tells you that she is not
ready for sex yet she is enjoying
ur money.you then discover she
gives the pussy to another man
everyday & at anytime. This is
called________________

SBC 222 PAST PAPER

KENYATTA UNIVERSITY
UNIVERSITY EXAMINATIONS 2009/2010
FIRST SEMESTER EXAMINATION FOR THE DEGREE OF
BACHELOR OF SCIENCE IN BIOCHEMISTRY AND BIOTECHNOLOGY

SBC 222: NUCLEIC ACID AND PROTEIN METABOLISM

DATE:
Monday 28th December 2009
TIME: 11.00am – 1.00pm

INSTRUCTIONS: Section A: Answer any two questions (20 marks each)
1.
a)
Draw a diagram showing the reactions catalyzed by DNA polymerase that


occurs between deoxyribose at the end of the DNA chain and the 5’


phosphate of a deocyribonucleoside triphosphate. Include the chemical


structure of the phosphate group, indicate the location of sugar and base,


and show the rearrangement of electrons that occur.
[10marks]

b)
DNA synthesis on the lagging strand of E. Coli is a complex process


known to involve proteins. Initiation of a new chain is catalyzed by the


enzyme (i)_______________And elongation is catalyzed by the
enzyme
(ii)_____________Synthesis
is
discontinuous, yielding short
segments
called
(iii)________________,
which are eventually joined by


the enzyme (iv)_____________, which require the cofactor

(v)________________










[10marks]
2.
a)
Describe the sequence of events in the initiation of transcription by E. Coli


RNA polymerase.





[5marks]
Page 1 of 3

---

b)
The specific sequences that E. coli RNA polymerase binds to in E. coli


DNA before initiating transcription generally contain more A=T Base


pairs than G=C base pairs. In no more than a few sentences, speculate, on
why
this
might
be
the
case.
[5marks]

c)
Indicate whether each of the following statements is true (T) or False (F).
________________Eukaryotic
cells
have
three distinct RNA polymerases.


________________Eukaryotic mRNA are generally synthesized by RNA
polymerase
I


________________Eukaryotic RNA polymerase III synthesizes only
rRNAS.


_____________All tRNAS have the sequence---CCA at their 5’ terminus
____________Eukaryotic
RNA
polymerases
initiate transcription at


specific sites on the DNA (Promoters), but prokaryotic polymerases do


not.







[10marks]
3.
Using appropriate illustrations, describe DNA repair by the following systems.
a)
Base-excision
repair.
[10marks]
b)
Nucleotide
excision
repair.
[10marks]

SECTION B: Answer all questions (10 marks each)

4.
Indicate whether each of the following statements is true (T) or false (F).

i)
Assembly of a complete ribosome onto a MRNA requires GTP hydrolysis.

ii)
Animoacylation or “charging” of tRNA requires the formation of
aminoacyl-AMP
intermediate.

iii)
Aminoacyl-rRNA binding to the A site of the ribosome requires the


accessory factor EF-Tu and GTU hydrolysis.

iv)
Translocation of growing polypeptide from the A and P site on the


ribosome requires EF-G and GTP hydrolysis.

v)
Termination of translocation does not require the hydrolysis of any high
energy
phosphate
bonds.

Page 2 of 3

---

5.
Describe the formation of the initiation complex during protein synthesis in
bacteria.

6.
a)
List five processing reactions involved in posttranslational modifications.










[5marks]

b)
How do the following compounds inhibits protein synthesis?











[5marks]


i)
Puromycin
ii)
Tetracycline.

Christian Bale Confirms No More Batman

Christian Bale has confirmed that he will not be playing Batman in a "Justice League" movie or another "Batman" film.
This news came out during an interview with Entertainment Weekly.
"We were incredibly fortunate to get to make three [Batman films]. That's enough. Let's not get greedy," he says. "Chris [Nolan] always said he wanted to make it one film at a time. And we ended up sitting there looking at each other, saying 'We're about to make the third.' We never really knew if we were going to get to be there, but if that was how it was going to be, this was where it should end as well." 

Bale also revealed that he is looking forward to see what another actor does with the role.

SHOCKING!!!! Pastor having sex behind the pulpit before the service

CLICK >> HERE<< TO WATCH THE VIDEO

>> MP4<<

What %tage of love do you have for your mum?

What %tage of love do you have for your mum?
0% √
█10% √
██ 20% √
███ 30% √
████ 40% √
█████ 50% √
██████ 60% √
███████ 70% √
████████ 80% √
█████████ 100% √

•Who's your favorite wrestler•

1. CM punk
2. John Cena
3. Daniel Byran
4. Triple H
5. Kane
6. Undertaker
7. Randy Orton
8. Others specify

New Month prayer for you

‘ , ‘ , ‘ , ‘ , ‘ , ‘ , ‘ ,
, ‘ , ‘ , ‘ , ‘ , ‘, ‘ , ‘ ,
,__,____,
/____,_/ \ .;’;';.
l__[]__l_ l ,,)(,,
This new month; longlife,blessings,
love,favor,
admission,good
... job,wife,children
,money
and
academic
excellence shall fall
on you and
your
family!!!
Share and write AMEN to claim
this prayer•

Uhuru And Ruto Plans To Pay Sh 15,000 To Every Unemployed Graduate

Uhuru And Ruto Plans To Pay Sh 15,000 To Every Unemployed Graduate Sunday July 28, 2013 The Government of President Uhuru Kenyatta and his Deputy William Ruto is planning to give Sh 15,000 every month to unemployed University graduates for their upkeep until they get employed. The motion which will be tabled in the House next week will see the formation of National Unemployment Scheme for graduate...s similar to the National Social Security Fund. The programme will see one per cent of the country’s annual revenue or at least Sh100 billion set aside for unemployed graduates. “Aware that thousands of Kenyans graduate annually from universities countrywide and deeply concerned that the unemployment rate continues to rise...this House urges to the Government to create a national unemployment graduates fund at 1 per cent of the annual national Budget,” part of the motion reads. “From this, all unemployed youthful graduates aged 18 to 35 years will be paid a monthly rate of Sh15, 000 until they get employment.” The motion reads… If the motion is passed, the Treasury will need at least Sh12 billion each month to provide for the unemployment insurance scheme. This sums up to Sh144 billion annually. If the programme is implemented, Kenya will be the first country in Africa to provide upkeep benefits to its unemployed population.

SEX COMES 4TH TO ANY KIKUYU MAN 1. MONEY. 2. LAND. 3. POMBE. 4. SEX!!!!!

SEX COMES 4TH TO ANY KIKUYU
MAN
1. MONEY. 2. LAND. 3. POMBE. 4.
SEX!!!!!
A naked lady ran into a Kikuyu
man’s taxi. She told the driver
where she was going. The kikuyu
man didn’t start the car but he
was just staring at the girl over &
over again. The lady saw him and
... said: "What’s ur problem man?
Haven’t u seen a naked lady
before?"
The kikuyu man replied: "l am not
looking at ur nakedness, I was
just wondering where you have
kept the money you are going to
pay me!!!"

KUCHAT NA MADEM WA NAIROBI KWA MASOS NI STRESS TUPU!!!

KUCHAT NA MADEM WA NAIROBI
KWA
MASOS NI STRESS TUPU!!!
Boy;hi swrry,,umeamka aje??
Dame;aaaawwww,, am gyud
shwyiraeh,,WBU? ?
Boy;wbu ni nini??
Dame;Loool,,dun derhead,,smh,,t
'mins
'Wat Bout You ',,daah!!
... Boy;oooh,,unaju a vtu zingine
naoneaga kwa gazeti ama Tv!!
hehe
Dame;hehe,,anwe h,,HhUB??
Boy;hio nayo ni nini??
Dame;OMG!!ho my sapozd to chat
if
u nah get naen?it mins How have
U
bin yawa!!
Boy;Gai,,kwani unaongeaga
kihibirania sku izi??nkt,,sawa, ,So
leo
ju unakam unataka npike USA
ama
USBzM??
Dame;loool,,and wt r thoz nw??
Boy;ooh,,thot unaelewa
kihibirania
yote??inamin unataka npike Ugali
Sukuma na Avocado ama Ni Ugali
Samaki Na Bolingo za Mbuzi??
baff!!ne
xt tym uchat ka mtu ako na akili
unaskia?ulfkiri a www tu ndo
unajua
kuongea in Tongues ?Funda!!
Dame;nkkkkt