Tourism players fault Uhuru's move to boost sector

Tourism players in Mombasa have questioned President Uhuru Kenyatta's directives to boost the sector, terming it unrealistic.

Read Also:RAILA ODINGA’s CORD vows to hold rallies despite ban by UHURU/ RUTO’s Government

Speaking during a stakeholders meeting at Nyali Beach Hotel, Kenya Association for Hotel-keepers and Caterers (KAHC) chief executive officer Mike Macharia said Government needed to have a flexible tourism policy.

FACT ABOUT SEX, DO U BELIEVE?

During sex, what bring about excitement to the man is the ability of the vagina to hold the penis tight and give it that sensation at the tip. There are thousands of unseen balls in the vagina that gives it this ability of tightness. These balls continue to burst each time a girl engages herself in sexual intercourse and the more the balls burst, the less elastic the vagina becomes rendering it not being able to hold the penis tightly during sex. 

See Also: 5 things couples do to avoid having sex  

A girl who changes guys like the way she changes her pads stands the risk loosing more balls in Her vagina. Such girls always have their vagina so loose to the extend that, guys with smaller penis are not able to satisfy them and their partners don't also enjoy them during sex making them to now play ''away matches''. Have u ever asked yourself why most guys are fond of cheating on their partners? The truth is that they don't always get the kind of excitement they need from their partners. A girl who tries to abstain is likely to maintain her vagina in good shape for a long time and is also likely to keep her man to herself without cheating setting in.

Shock as mourners carries own plate,spoon to funeral

Mourner carries own cutlery  Residents of Moulem Estate in Kisumu were recently left in stitches when  a woman who had come for a funeral unashamedly whipped out of her  handbag a plate, cup and a spoon after the said cutlery ran out during  meal time.   As it is the custom in Nyanza, meals must be served at funerals, as a  way of celebrating the departed soul. Thus, this particular one was not  any different. A relatively well known man had passed on. And this  called for an elaborate and dignified sendoff that saw locals throng his  homestead a couple of days before his burial.   As usual, meals had been prepared in plenty. Locals witnessed quite a  number of strange behaviors. First, there were those who, probably from  distant places, arrived and immediately they were done wailing, wiped  their tears and headed straight to the tent where food was being served.  In one particular incident, a mourner made a grand entrance; she  uncontrollably wailed, rolled on the ground, dirtying herself as she  eulogised the departed man.  She praised him, expressing her grief and how the locality will miss his  kindness and generosity. Soon after wards, she dusted herself and made a  bee line for the improvised kitchen under a tent, where meals were  being served. Minutes late, she emerged with a mountain of nyoyo  (mixture of beans and maize), and a cup of tea.  Mourners salivate  On the final day, the bereaved had hired services of an out service  catering company. They had prepared sumptuous nyoyo, tea and ugali seved  with beef for special visitors, whose aroma made most of the mourners  salivate, completely ignoring the eulogies read.

See Also:Drama as drunkards turn court into theatre of the absurd.

What shocked the  residents was the gusto with which one particular whipped out a plate  and other cutlery, when she was told all the plates available had run  out. “Apenjou jowadwa, tinde ji Biro e liel nyaka gi plate, e liel yawa?  (Let me ask you brethren, nowadays people come to funerals with  plates?” wondered a shocked mourner.  “The world could be coming to an end my friends, if people can carry  such things to a funeral. It seems some people only come to funerals to  eat?” asked another mourner.  “Osiepna, thurwa kae, jii nyaka chiem ee liel. mang’a duong kothoo,nyaka  gweno, dhiang’ gi diek nyaka yang’ mar jomaobiro ee liel. (My friend,  around here, people believe in eating in funeral).  And when a ‘big’ person dies, you would always hear of plans to  slaughter bulls, chickens, goats and sheep in order to sustain the  expected big number of mourners that would grace the burial.)” answered  the other mourner.  He added: “The bigger the name the bigger the budget of food. So much is  the emphasis that is put on food that in some instances, we have a  committee that ensures food is in plenty, even if it means doing a  fundraiser, otherwise people will forever gossip the bereaved, claiming  he/she starved them!”

Drama as drunkards turn court into theatre of the absurd.

Drunkards are an  interesting lot. They are at times funnier than your average Kenyan  comedian, if the theatrics a bunch of them brought to a Nyeri court a  week ago is anything to go by.   A group of 85 men had been arraigned in court and charged with being  drunk and disorderly. That some of them were still in a drunken stupor  made the courtroom literally turn into a theatre of the absurd.
 Interestingly, a mtungi  (pot) full of a frothy brew, which was still fermenting and from which  some of the suspects never moved their eyes, was produced in court as  exhibit.  Drama began when the court clerk started explaining to them why they had  been arraigned in court. “Mlipatikana mkipiga kelele na kutembea kwa  mwendo wa kuyumbayumba (You were caught drunk and disorderly),” he told  them.  In unison, the drunkards pleaded guilty to the charges, and that was  when the comedy began. Each one of them was given an opportunity to  explain why they were “disturbing peace” and why they should not be  charged.  First on the line was a particularly witty individual who asked the  court to free him because his youngest daughter was pregnant.  He told the magistrate that he is the sole breadwinner of his family  including the foetus in his 17-year-old daughter’s womb. “Huyo musichana  alikuwa ametoroka, lakini kurudi alikuja na mimba (My daughter had run  away from home, only to return with a pregnancy,” said the man, arousing  a merry round of laughter in the packed courtroom. 

See also: Shock as mourners carries own plate,spoon to funeral
Last sip 
The next drunk told the court he was in the process of quitting alcohol  and, in fact, he was on his last day when the police ambushed the den  and arrested him on his last sip.  He said he had resolved to quit alcohol after he recently witnessed,  ‘booze warriors’ succumb to illicit liquor in different parts of the  country. “For the 10 years I have been drinking, I have never been  arrested by police. This was in fact bad luck to me because I was in the  process of quitting alcohol when they came. They just caught me on my  last sip,” he repeated.  And before the tickled courtroom could recover from outbursts and  ramblings, one of his partners in crime, perhaps not to be outdone, took  the comedy a notch higher. In his defence, he told the magistrate he  never takes alcohol but had turned to it after the scotching sun on that  day “burned” his head, disorganising his thinking, moving and seeing  faculties.  “The sun had burned my head, thus I couldn’t do things properly. That is  why I turned to alcohol, but I swear here today, I will never drink  again,” he pleaded.But the showstopper was an elderly man who tickled those in attendance.  After pleading guilty to the charges, told the magistrate that even  before slapping him with any amount of bail, he should be released to go and look for more money to bail himself out because all he had in his pocket was Sh100! "Nii ndiro na igana rimwe. Ona kaba mwambe mundekererie ndie ngethe icio ingi (All I have is Sh100. If you can, please free me so that I can go get you the rest if the fine exceeds that)” he begged, rather emotionally. Interestingly, the magistrate heard his plea, and only fined him Sh100!

Kenyan celebrity singer cheats on the husband

Trouble is brewing  within a widely famous and controversial celebrity couple after the  husband confirmed an affair between the celebrity wife and a prominent  former Central region politician’s son.   All has not been well in the marriage and the wife seems to have taken  to other affairs after walking out of the marriage.

See Also: Finaly,Light at the end of the tunnel.UoN student speaks to fellow comrades; SOBER UP SIR

Please keep off,” the  lady who is a mother wrote to the husband, in an SMSs that was forwarded  to us this week.  Besides that text, the troubled husband, a respected man in the  political, corporate and showbiz arena shared with us all the text  messages obtained from the wife’s phone and the threatening message and  requested the identity of the said politician’s son not to be published  for obvious reasons sighting that: “It could be a case of hit and run on  the part of the man and the lady being on rebound. As a man, I would  hate to expose the lady who is my wife and mother of my baby.  It would rather be a bit insensitive at this point. I would be exposing  her to public ridicule and putting her moral degree and career in  question. I will be patient,” he told Pulse.  The SMSs between the man and the celebrity ‘girl’ — in our possession —  do highlight a passionate affair between the two in which the lady looks  so smitten.  Most of them are night ‘calls’ the kind that a love would call the night  kiss to cap the activities of the day.  The politician’s son in question is a senior boss in a telecommunication  firm, a strategist who joined the firm after completing his Masters  Degree abroad some few years back.  He is a close friend of madam celeb…a friendship spanning back almost 15  years ago. “I am giving you all this information so that in case  something happens to me, the world will be in the know,” said the man
“I will continue taking good care of her, I mean, she is the mother to  my baby and as far as I know, she deserves my respect. It is in my  interest to see her lead a respectable life,” he concluded.
e

Please keep off,” the lady who is a mother wrote to the husband, in an SMSs that was forwarded to Pulse this week. Besides that text, the troubled husband, a respected man in the political, corporate and showbiz arena shared with us all the text messages obtained from the wife’s phone and the threatening message and requested the identity of the said politician’s son not to be published for obvious reasons sighting that: “It could be a case of hit and run on the part of the man and the lady being on rebound. As a man, I would hate to expose the lady who is my wife and mother of my baby. It would rather be a bit insensitive at this point. I would be exposing her to public ridicule and putting her moral degree and career in question. I will be patient,” he told Pulse. The SMSs between the man and the celebrity ‘girl’ — in our possession — do highlight a passionate affair between the two in which the lady looks so smitten. Most of them are night ‘calls’ the kind that a love would call the night kiss to cap the activities of the day. The politician’s son in question is a senior boss in a telecommunication firm, a strategist who joined the firm after completing his Masters Degree abroad some few years back. He is a close friend of madam celeb…a friendship spanning back almost 15 years ago. “I am giving you all this information so that incase something happens to me, the world will be in the know,” said the man
Read more at: http://www.standardmedia.co.ke/entertainment/pulse/article/2000122263/kenyan-celebrity-singer-cheats-on-the-husband

Finaly,Light at the end of the tunnel.UoN student speaks to fellow comrades; SOBER UP SIR

SOBER UP SIRIt is frustrating to be in your room the whole day without means of bringing your phone to life.Even more disturbing that you cannot prepare a meal simply because electricity took to the heels and left you with hunger pangs.But wait;Imagine yourself as that hardworking kenyan living from hands to mouth at the wake of biting economic times.That your salary even if it was to be trippled,cannotbe anywhere near that of a county MCA.And because receiving hands and wanting mouths are more than giving ones;you forgo that rest on a Saturday;you forfeit a sweet familytime so as to ran an extra errand in your genuine attempts to make yourends meet.And just when the sun decide what you have made is enough for the dayand you are on your way to the tentyou call your home;to at least get your mind off the struggles of your life;alas!Stones comes greeting your windscreen and before you know it,sheepish and mean looking group ofmen flank you demanding you part with everything you have(as if you have it)You think hard guessing your mind isplaying games;wonderingwhether you used the wrong path but looking not far;you realize you are just within the university of Nairobi area.And the men extorting from you are mere students!What strikes you off head is not the fact that you are being robbed,No!That students are from the premier institution of higher learning paralyze your mind!To cut the story short ,i fail to understand how a whole learned(or learning) human being can take to such wayward actions just because there is power outages in the institution.We are supposed to be models from whom others can take after yet this is what we can show after years of learning??I fail to connect the dots!After your course comes to an end,you will wake up to a very harsh reality.All those things you are doing today,will come haunting you.If you commit to do what is right and just to the society,good tidings await you!I know you are bright and academically gifted but without humility and discipline ,your academic might is just as useless as a linen to a pig.Sober Up Sir .Stop being idle and rush to the library!
Regards
Dubois Maina Maina

ONE KU FEMALE STUDENT'S LEADER EFFECTIVELY HANDLES THE "BIG-BALLS."

KU Gender and Welfare secretary #Micky_Wanja gave one Babu Owino and his assistant Juma Charlow (the 2 Big Balls) serious schooling  during their interview today on KTN-StraightUp.

The punchlines;
*A clever fighter never uses his best weapon before the war starts. #Conclusion: The duo are not clever, a kind way of calling them fools.

*In the 21st Century, Guerrilla tactics can't create solutions. A kind way of saying you live in stone age.

Micky went ahead trying to bring sense to this two duos on why they shouldn't have incited the students to hold a demonstration on Tuesday 21st since it was baseless and the two had no facts regarding fee increment. In one way or the other Wanja tried to bring out the fact that the two were using this just as a political platform to gain cheap publicity or maybe someone somewhere was using them to use the students as an arm to dis-stabilize the UhuRuto government in such time when its under pressure to handle terrorism in the country.

All said,the it all up to the students, to evaluate each and every matter before rushing to take any action to avoid manipulation from politicians as they intensify their supremacy battles.